5 Reasons Why the Minivan is COOL

by Mike on October 5, 2013 · 7 comments

Wake up, America! The minivan is COOL!

Mike “Pimp My Ride” Hollick Holla!

I mean, I get it. It’s not a sports car. It was created with “the family” in mind. Sure, you won’t see a minivan in a rap video or a James Bond film, unless it’s being run off the road in the midst of a car chase. But I have to be honest. Even before Max and Eva were little more than a twinkle in the eye, I have wanted one — and now, we have one!

I think it was about 10 years ago or so when I noticed the beginning of a shift in minivan design, with The Honda Odyssey. The styling wasn’t so boxy anymore. I spotted them on the road with more frequency. Then I started paying rapt attention. I would casually remark to Ang, “Look at that Odyssey. Pretty cool, huh?” She would just look at me in confusion. Soon it became a bit of a joke. With an eyeroll, she would tell her friends, “Mike wants a minivan. He thinks they’re COOL!”, and everyone would have a big laugh. I would try to defend my opinion, but I was facing an uphill perception battle. I still am.

So if you would be so kind as to humor me, here are my top reasons why I love (and every dad should love) minivans. It will change your life.

1. The minivan’s design has evolved. Look through my eyes, why don’t you? Our new 2013 Honda Odyssey is Dark Cherry Pearl, with a two-tone tan leather interior. Sound hot? She is. She sits low with a wide wheel base. Her lines are aerodynamic but muscular. The lightening bolt design side windows give it a sporty, aggressive flair. The chrome detailing around the windows and on the door handles give it just enough sparkle to be noticed without being ostentatious. (If you must know, I named her Ruby. I thought of our minivan’s name before I even thought of my daughter’s, to give you an idea of how psyched I was to get this car.)

2. The interior screams luxury She’s a beauty, but not just another pretty face. Want a DVD system? Check. Throw in wireless headphones so that Max can watch Schoolhouse Rock in the back while I jam out to Sirius XM’s College Rock station in the front? Check and check. Are your buns cold? The seats are heated. Is your Vitamin Water lukewarm? Slip it into the CoolBox feature (the name always makes Ang giggle) so that it’s chilled in an hour. And do you need a place for up to eleven beverages?  The cup holders can accommodate an entire Little League team. Don’t even get me started on the rearview camera. I whoop parallel parking’s butt, every time.

3. You can be your own chill person in the minivan. By this, I mean that Ang can control her own climate in the passenger seat by setting it to a blistering 76° like a senior citizen, while I can chill out in my 72° CoolGuy Zone. Max and Eva can also control their own temps in the back, had they arms long enough or cognitive/motor skills to figure out their dials.

4. The space inside makes life simpler. When Eva starts to fuss and we’re at a stop (safety first! safety first!), Ang can spryly climb into the back with her and Max. And the amount of gear and luggage we can fit in the back with the third row folded easily and neatly away reduces the amount of Tetris I have to play when packing our car from city to city.

5. It represents the new cool: Family. While the minivan is the perfect combination of form and function, I think its appeal might be deeper than that. I mean, I am a dad, and I have wanted to be a dad for a while — for about as long as I’ve known Ang! Maybe my yen for a minivan was a product of some nesting instinct that started to awaken when I met my one true love. I was able to see the minivan through new eyes — through a potential Dad’s eyes. That explains a lot. So maybe I’ll never shift the paradigm regarding minivan sexiness, but maybe that’s not the paradigm that needs to shift. Maybe, just maybe, society has to embrace the fact that, wait for it…. wait for it… FAMILY is cool! Being a good parent is like being a rock star! Having a safe, functional, attractive minivan is cooler than having a gas guzzling SUV or a cramped sports car, because hey, it’s smarter! And smarter is sexier. And with that, I rest my case.

Mike and his new whip

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Jes October 5, 2013 at 11:26 am

Oh, Mike, how I’ve missed sitting in on your mind-changing-monologue moments…this is a welcomed reminder of one of everyone’s favorite things about you. Love you fabulous four!!!


Brenda October 5, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Congrats on the addition of Ruby to ur crew! I lovingly nicknamed our Toyota minivan “Black Beauty” altho my boys keep insisting upon “Black Stallion” LOL!! Enjoy!


Angela October 5, 2013 at 1:23 pm

I must admit, I’ve come around. Ruby drives like a dream! We love the new addition 🙂


Janeen October 5, 2013 at 1:43 pm

We’ve had our Sienna for five years now and it shows no sign of stopping! Hail to the Minivan! We couldn’t live without ours!


Steve M October 5, 2013 at 1:46 pm

I enjoyed this post from the dad’s POV. We’ve had an Oddysey for a couple years and I was reluctant to like it. Now i can proudly say I love it! My favorite thing about it is the spy glass so I can see what the rugrats are up to in the backseat. Thanks for clarifying to the world why it’s so cool to drive the family van. Best wishes as always.


Ron October 7, 2013 at 1:27 am

Well said, Mike! We’ve always referred to minivans as family vans. We’re really blessed to have our ’06 E-LX. My fav features are the heated side-view mirrors and radio controlled side doors and analogue temp and sound control–can’t get into natural user interface tech as of yet [guess that’s why my phone still has analogue dialing still, too]. We also love the short turn radius, easy as turning about on a unicycle, not that I’ve ever ridden one.


Lino November 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Minivans ARE in rap videos…check out the “Swagger Wagon”


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